Now that interviewing panels have become like an interrogating squad, here a way of putting them in their place. Apply for a job for the fun of it and answer the questions as follows!
Whats your name?
Hey, am the guest. You first
Where did you go to school?
Am not particularly good with directions but am sure its south of here!
Which is the last place in the world you would want to be right now?
In your seat sir!
Your resume says here that you have vast experience in this specific position. Care to elaborate?
Well if my resume SAYS that much, am sure you can SQUEEZE a little more of that information from it.
Describe yourself in five words?
Aha! Well...! Ummmh! Ummmh! Ummmh!
What new thing do you think you will bring into this company?
(First look at the floor) A new carpet, (face up) and a new interviewing panel.
Where do you see yourself in five years?
Dude! Am not that tall.
What qualities will you be bringing on board?
The highest qualities!
Are you sure you want this job?
Is that a trick question?
Whats your religion?
The law allows people to own a religion? Am buying Islam!
Assuming we give you this job right now, who would you prefer to be the first person to know about it?
Me of course!
How much pay do you expect to be paid?
Double yours. Considering you do something this silly all day!
What is your passion in life?
Life? .... Ending it.
Who would you say is your role model?
The twelveth disciple...
Who is called....
You mean you dont too? That makes two of us!
Assuming your elementary teacher has never seen you since you left elementary school, What do you think she would say if she saw you right now?
Considering she was really mean and she is dead, am sure it would be 'welcome to hell you little brat!'
Given the chance, what one question you would ask this panel?
When do I start?
CAUTION: I will not be responsible for any damages you may (and most probably will) incur during the interview!!!
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